The Blog of Inconvenience

The Blog of Inconvenience

Premise: Life, by definition is a series of inconveniences. From stubbing a toe, to getting cut off in line, to being bullied, to however you may die. Every day, in every way, something gets in your way. Something bothers you – large or small. Something “slows you down” instead of making life easier, friendlier and kinder. It is a rough, rough, rough, rough, world.

Background: In the most server sense, there is the court system. Lawyers, Judges and Police; all are maintaining the law of the land. But this represents the most costly aspect of inconvenience. If you were to account for all the things that can go wrong, legal recourse would not even come to .001 percent of the grievances.
 
The Concept of Retribution: From an early age, we are given a “slap on the hand”, a verbal warning, a spanking, a detention, or a tongue lashing. There are many forms of being told off. None of these are costly or detrimental. In fact, these are modifiers of behaviour. In some cases, making you a better person, or a stronger person, or worse, a bully: It depends on how your react and if you “get away with it”, it depends on learned behaviour.

FAST FORWARD to “1984” and “Dick Tracy Watches”: We all know that we are being monitored. Technology just makes it easier. At a young age, it is the watchful eye of the parent. There is the teacher. There is the boss. On the road, it is the police officer. But what happens as technology gets better? There are cameras placed at red lights, in shopping malls, in stores, in banks. All monitor for criminal activity. This is meant for the “worst case” or “blatant” breaking of the law. Now add in cell phones which monitor your location (GPS). They monitor the time and duration of your calls. And of course, it is possible to record all calls. Lets add in another factor that will improve the theory: Due to Moore’s Law which states that “technology will double every 18 months”, and looking at data storage, the cost of storing and maintaining huge data banks has decreased since 1964, If not now, then soon, it will be possible to record everything, with or without your knowledge or consent, to your existence. Where you work, play, what you do, what you say, what you buy or sell. To the extent that all human activity will be available and searchable… that is the premise of the concept of inconvenience – all based on the ease of regulation and monitoring.

IF YOU HAVE FOLLOWED THIS SO FAR then you realize this is NOT SCIENCE FICTION. This will be a reality in your life time.

The next logical step in evolution is to give feedback. Isn’t that what the court system is currently doing? If you have done wrong, been caught, and pulled up before a judge and found guilty, you will be charged and some form of punishment will be administered. This is not the cheapest way to go! There are too many costs involved, too much time and too many people involved in a system that by its very nature is bogged down and does not generate anything worthwhile to society.  Let’s go back to how we treat four year olds. We can talk to them. We can put them in a corner for a time out. We can force them to eat their vegetables. Why would we stop at FOUR? If we incorporate the basis of a driving system called “demerit points”, we can do the same thing to individuals. And we can do it on a grander scale. We can do it for ALL forms of wrongs. And we can do it in ways that can modify behaviour for the good of society.

COMMENTS:

Name a grievance. State the players (no names). State the actions that attributed to the situation. State the possible ramifications. And finally, state the punishment or retribution.

About the author:
Jerrold Schiff lives in Apopka, FL. He was born in raised in Canada.

As a maintenance computer programmer, he spent most of his career fixing programs that went awry because (the company changed, the business changed, the programmers missed something, or there wasn’t time to think of everything). Now, Jerrold is self employed removing viruses from residential computers. He also hosts web sites, creates web pages and helps small or home businesses get better ranking on search engines.

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Inconvenience, schiff, v1rusdr, seo, hosting

Are Nudists more prone to viruses?

Are Nudists more prone to viruses?

(a)

The client was a very elderly man, maybe 80, maybe more. I am not a good judge of age! Anyhow, It was a warm Florida summer day (what’s the odds of that?) The A/C was on, but the house was still warm. Still, I sat down in front of my new client’s computer and started work. As usual, he offered me a coffee, which I gladly accepted. As I began work, I noticed my surroundings. The computer was in his bedroom (aren’t all computers located there?) To my left was a huge glass patio door, overlooking a swimming pool. My client explained “These condos all have their own swimming pools. All enclosed. No one can see in. No one can see out. When I swim, I can swim totally in the nude and never be disturbed. As long as we are quiet, the home owners association even lets us have parties. You are more than welcome to have a swim any time you like.” At this point I need to add that computer gurus may be exceptionally bright fixing computers, but we are socially inept. I didn’t have a clue until days later what he was offering or possibly why. 

(b)

Some of my clients live far away (and far out). A very nice couple lived in eastern Orlando. Their home was even on a dirt road. It was situated on a fair junk of land. Their nearest neighbours homes were obscured. Sitting in their living room, I started working on their infected computer. It wasn’t going to be too bad, but older computers take longer to scan. The questions started early “How did I get a virus?” “Did we get it from porn sites?” “How do I protect my computer”… in other words, the usual questions! The husband was sitting to my left. Asking most of the questions. The wife was on the couch back of us, had no idea if she could see the computer from that far away! Somewhere in the middle of fixing the computer, the wife asked me “How much longer will this take? I want to get back outside and sun bath. Do you sunbath in the nude? We are nudists” Okay. Now how does someone answer that question? Here is this perfectly normal (looking) couple, asking a potentially intrusive question. Sorry to disappoint all of you, but I deftly stirred the conversation back to my task on hand: The computer.  I guess I did a great job of fixing their computer; they have never called again with a computer problem.

(c)

I would think this question would come up more often. Yet, it has only been asked once in 10 years!
After fixing a couples computer, and while waiting for the wife to write the cheque, the husband asked “You must fix a lot of computers, where just the wife, the lonely wife, is present: Have you ever been prompted for extra services?” … Huge grin… I asked the husband if he got that question straight out of Playboy Advisors!  Sadly(?), the answer is no. There are some very obvious reasons. The first is that at $70 an hour, most customers are so focused on the clock, that they would never think I was human. The second and more painful realization is that “I’m not a pool guy”. At my age, and only 5’4” tall, being approached for something other than my brain is ludicrous. But yes, I was “approached” once (read on).

(d)

I try to set my appointments around 9:30 in the morning. Ensures I don’t have to fight morning rush hour traffic. So, I get to this lady’s house, bright and early, ready to work. Her computer was in the living room. It was a large room. There was a TV to the right. A couch, 10 feet back behind me. The kitchen was to the right. Had one of those “islands” that people seem to like. I sat down to fix her computer. As usual, customers like to talk about anything BUT computers. And since I’ve been doing virus removal for 10 years, I actually welcome listening to my customers’ life story as I work. And yet, I still can’t spot warning signs? She explained that she was celebrating. She has been married two years, but her divorce settlement finally went through. And just yesterday, had received over $40,000. (I hate when people tell me about all their money. In 90% of the cases, it means they will complain about my $70 an hour as “way too high”, go figure). Meanwhile, I kept working on her computer. It is not unusual to see clients having a beer or two. Even that early in the morning. What I did not notice was how many beers she had been drinking.  As she sat on the couch behind me, she continued her story about her life. Nothing new there, right? But when I pointed to the screen and said “That’s your problem, right there!” She left the couch to come beside me. She then said “can you explain what that’s all about”… and then tried to sit down. Well, I was sitting on the only chair in the room. She tried to sit on my lap! I was able to move out of the way, in time, but she fell on her butt to the floor. She was not happy. Anyhow, she brushed herself up, and went over to the kitchen. I went back to my work, and nothing more was said. In about 30 minutes, I was done – the computer was all cleaned up, viruses removed, programs updated. I was ready to leave, so I wrote up the bill and gave it to her. She looked at it, and said “I’m not paying this, get out.” … I was stunned… what do you say to that? So I went back to the computer and told her I was just finishing up. She repeated “get out” and I said “I have to remove my software from your computer” I know what you are thinking. You are thinking I put all her viruses back on her computer. But I didn’t have to. Instead, I just removed my anti-virus programs, and disabled hers. I took the high road. What would you have done? 

Author: Jerrold Schiff
http://www.schiffkey.com
nude, nudist, virus, v1rus, v1rusdr, schiff, schiffkey, computer, repair

Customers write the best jokes

Customers write the best jokes
By Jerrold Schiff
http://www.schiffkey.com

I always hand out notes on what you need to do to keep your computer up and running, and safe
from viruses and computer failures.

My notes are hand written, as I carefully explain the steps you need to do – whether weekly or
monthly.

Everyone is keen on listening. You can save a lot of money by doing simple things all by
yourself!

But, my handwriting is terrible. I know it. My clients know it. And most aren’t shy in saying
so!

So, I’ve gotten into the habit, before I begin my lecture, of saying, jokingly:

“I’ll explain what you need to do. If you have trouble remembering, or reading my writing, you
are welcome to take this sheet to a pharmacist – who can decipher my notes.”

A laugh is guaranteed. And everyone pays more attention, including taking their own notes. It’s
a win win!

EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE CUSTOMER.

 One older gentleman, probably 80 or 90 years old listened carefully and intently. But his face
was very stern and disapproving. Afraid that I had insulted him, I asked “Have I said something
wrong? Are my notes totally unreadable?”

He then looked me straight in the eye, and said “I don't have to take the notes to a pharmacist. I’m a retired pharmacist”… and at that, he grinned, from ear to ear. He got me. He had me hook line and sinker.