Friday, June 14, 2013

The Blog of Inconvenience

The Blog of Inconvenience

Premise: Life, by definition is a series of inconveniences. From stubbing a toe, to getting cut off in line, to being bullied, to however you may die. Every day, in every way, something gets in your way. Something bothers you – large or small. Something “slows you down” instead of making life easier, friendlier and kinder. It is a rough, rough, rough, rough, world.

Background: In the most server sense, there is the court system. Lawyers, Judges and Police; all are maintaining the law of the land. But this represents the most costly aspect of inconvenience. If you were to account for all the things that can go wrong, legal recourse would not even come to .001 percent of the grievances.
 
The Concept of Retribution: From an early age, we are given a “slap on the hand”, a verbal warning, a spanking, a detention, or a tongue lashing. There are many forms of being told off. None of these are costly or detrimental. In fact, these are modifiers of behaviour. In some cases, making you a better person, or a stronger person, or worse, a bully: It depends on how your react and if you “get away with it”, it depends on learned behaviour.

FAST FORWARD to “1984” and “Dick Tracy Watches”: We all know that we are being monitored. Technology just makes it easier. At a young age, it is the watchful eye of the parent. There is the teacher. There is the boss. On the road, it is the police officer. But what happens as technology gets better? There are cameras placed at red lights, in shopping malls, in stores, in banks. All monitor for criminal activity. This is meant for the “worst case” or “blatant” breaking of the law. Now add in cell phones which monitor your location (GPS). They monitor the time and duration of your calls. And of course, it is possible to record all calls. Lets add in another factor that will improve the theory: Due to Moore’s Law which states that “technology will double every 18 months”, and looking at data storage, the cost of storing and maintaining huge data banks has decreased since 1964, If not now, then soon, it will be possible to record everything, with or without your knowledge or consent, to your existence. Where you work, play, what you do, what you say, what you buy or sell. To the extent that all human activity will be available and searchable… that is the premise of the concept of inconvenience – all based on the ease of regulation and monitoring.

IF YOU HAVE FOLLOWED THIS SO FAR then you realize this is NOT SCIENCE FICTION. This will be a reality in your life time.

The next logical step in evolution is to give feedback. Isn’t that what the court system is currently doing? If you have done wrong, been caught, and pulled up before a judge and found guilty, you will be charged and some form of punishment will be administered. This is not the cheapest way to go! There are too many costs involved, too much time and too many people involved in a system that by its very nature is bogged down and does not generate anything worthwhile to society.  Let’s go back to how we treat four year olds. We can talk to them. We can put them in a corner for a time out. We can force them to eat their vegetables. Why would we stop at FOUR? If we incorporate the basis of a driving system called “demerit points”, we can do the same thing to individuals. And we can do it on a grander scale. We can do it for ALL forms of wrongs. And we can do it in ways that can modify behaviour for the good of society.

COMMENTS:

Name a grievance. State the players (no names). State the actions that attributed to the situation. State the possible ramifications. And finally, state the punishment or retribution.

About the author:
Jerrold Schiff lives in Apopka, FL. He was born in raised in Canada.

As a maintenance computer programmer, he spent most of his career fixing programs that went awry because (the company changed, the business changed, the programmers missed something, or there wasn’t time to think of everything). Now, Jerrold is self employed removing viruses from residential computers. He also hosts web sites, creates web pages and helps small or home businesses get better ranking on search engines.

Please support my clients:  (web hosting. search engine optimization)
Computer Virus Removal - Web site hosting - Web site SEM SEO - ORGANIC SEARCH
http://www.schiffkey.com
Let the Legend of the Evil Eye be with you !
http://evileyemall.com
Independent AMSOIL Dealer
http://www.oilsyn.com
Solar Water Fountains Etc.
http://www.solarfountainsetc.com
http://www.solarfountainsmall.com
Seasoned Psychotherapist
http://www.phonecoaching-counseling.com
Brown Law, P.L.
http://www.brownlawpl.com
Lake and Luxury Real Estate, Windermere, Florida
http://www.lakeandluxuryrealestate.com
"A Place for Families"
http://www.crossroadschurchapopka.com
 
Business Writing and Resumes CPRW
http://www.awardwinningresumes.ca
http://www.interviewresumes.com
http://www.shane-resumes.com
 
Veterinary Pathology Services
http://www.vpsdrs.com
Sweet Water Oaks Garden Club
http://www.swogc.org
Kelly Mccracken Counseling LMHC, RPT-S
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
http://www.kellymccrackencounseling.com
May Mei Garden - Chinese Food Apopka
http://www.maymeigarden.com
Last Minute Villas
http://www.lastminutevillas.net
http://www.orlandovillaowners.com

Inconvenience, schiff, v1rusdr, seo, hosting

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Are Nudists more prone to viruses?

Are Nudists more prone to viruses?

(a)

The client was a very elderly man, maybe 80, maybe more. I am not a good judge of age! Anyhow, It was a warm Florida summer day (what’s the odds of that?) The A/C was on, but the house was still warm. Still, I sat down in front of my new client’s computer and started work. As usual, he offered me a coffee, which I gladly accepted. As I began work, I noticed my surroundings. The computer was in his bedroom (aren’t all computers located there?) To my left was a huge glass patio door, overlooking a swimming pool. My client explained “These condos all have their own swimming pools. All enclosed. No one can see in. No one can see out. When I swim, I can swim totally in the nude and never be disturbed. As long as we are quiet, the home owners association even lets us have parties. You are more than welcome to have a swim any time you like.” At this point I need to add that computer gurus may be exceptionally bright fixing computers, but we are socially inept. I didn’t have a clue until days later what he was offering or possibly why. 

(b)

Some of my clients live far away (and far out). A very nice couple lived in eastern Orlando. Their home was even on a dirt road. It was situated on a fair junk of land. Their nearest neighbours homes were obscured. Sitting in their living room, I started working on their infected computer. It wasn’t going to be too bad, but older computers take longer to scan. The questions started early “How did I get a virus?” “Did we get it from porn sites?” “How do I protect my computer”… in other words, the usual questions! The husband was sitting to my left. Asking most of the questions. The wife was on the couch back of us, had no idea if she could see the computer from that far away! Somewhere in the middle of fixing the computer, the wife asked me “How much longer will this take? I want to get back outside and sun bath. Do you sunbath in the nude? We are nudists” Okay. Now how does someone answer that question? Here is this perfectly normal (looking) couple, asking a potentially intrusive question. Sorry to disappoint all of you, but I deftly stirred the conversation back to my task on hand: The computer.  I guess I did a great job of fixing their computer; they have never called again with a computer problem.

(c)

I would think this question would come up more often. Yet, it has only been asked once in 10 years!
After fixing a couples computer, and while waiting for the wife to write the cheque, the husband asked “You must fix a lot of computers, where just the wife, the lonely wife, is present: Have you ever been prompted for extra services?” … Huge grin… I asked the husband if he got that question straight out of Playboy Advisors!  Sadly(?), the answer is no. There are some very obvious reasons. The first is that at $70 an hour, most customers are so focused on the clock, that they would never think I was human. The second and more painful realization is that “I’m not a pool guy”. At my age, and only 5’4” tall, being approached for something other than my brain is ludicrous. But yes, I was “approached” once (read on).

(d)

I try to set my appointments around 9:30 in the morning. Ensures I don’t have to fight morning rush hour traffic. So, I get to this lady’s house, bright and early, ready to work. Her computer was in the living room. It was a large room. There was a TV to the right. A couch, 10 feet back behind me. The kitchen was to the right. Had one of those “islands” that people seem to like. I sat down to fix her computer. As usual, customers like to talk about anything BUT computers. And since I’ve been doing virus removal for 10 years, I actually welcome listening to my customers’ life story as I work. And yet, I still can’t spot warning signs? She explained that she was celebrating. She has been married two years, but her divorce settlement finally went through. And just yesterday, had received over $40,000. (I hate when people tell me about all their money. In 90% of the cases, it means they will complain about my $70 an hour as “way too high”, go figure). Meanwhile, I kept working on her computer. It is not unusual to see clients having a beer or two. Even that early in the morning. What I did not notice was how many beers she had been drinking.  As she sat on the couch behind me, she continued her story about her life. Nothing new there, right? But when I pointed to the screen and said “That’s your problem, right there!” She left the couch to come beside me. She then said “can you explain what that’s all about”… and then tried to sit down. Well, I was sitting on the only chair in the room. She tried to sit on my lap! I was able to move out of the way, in time, but she fell on her butt to the floor. She was not happy. Anyhow, she brushed herself up, and went over to the kitchen. I went back to my work, and nothing more was said. In about 30 minutes, I was done – the computer was all cleaned up, viruses removed, programs updated. I was ready to leave, so I wrote up the bill and gave it to her. She looked at it, and said “I’m not paying this, get out.” … I was stunned… what do you say to that? So I went back to the computer and told her I was just finishing up. She repeated “get out” and I said “I have to remove my software from your computer” I know what you are thinking. You are thinking I put all her viruses back on her computer. But I didn’t have to. Instead, I just removed my anti-virus programs, and disabled hers. I took the high road. What would you have done? 

Author: Jerrold Schiff
http://www.schiffkey.com
nude, nudist, virus, v1rus, v1rusdr, schiff, schiffkey, computer, repair

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Customers write the best jokes

Customers write the best jokes
By Jerrold Schiff
http://www.schiffkey.com

I always hand out notes on what you need to do to keep your computer up and running, and safe
from viruses and computer failures.

My notes are hand written, as I carefully explain the steps you need to do – whether weekly or
monthly.

Everyone is keen on listening. You can save a lot of money by doing simple things all by
yourself!

But, my handwriting is terrible. I know it. My clients know it. And most aren’t shy in saying
so!

So, I’ve gotten into the habit, before I begin my lecture, of saying, jokingly:

“I’ll explain what you need to do. If you have trouble remembering, or reading my writing, you
are welcome to take this sheet to a pharmacist – who can decipher my notes.”

A laugh is guaranteed. And everyone pays more attention, including taking their own notes. It’s
a win win!

EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE CUSTOMER.

 One older gentleman, probably 80 or 90 years old listened carefully and intently. But his face
was very stern and disapproving. Afraid that I had insulted him, I asked “Have I said something
wrong? Are my notes totally unreadable?”

He then looked me straight in the eye, and said “I don't have to take the notes to a pharmacist. I’m a retired pharmacist”… and at that, he grinned, from ear to ear. He got me. He had me hook line and sinker.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Getting Nasty in Computer Repair.

Getting Nasty in Computer Repair.

There is nothing like a frantic phone call “I have porn all over my three computers, get it off NOW!”

I arrived at the house at 9:30 am. At the door was a nice lady, probably in her mid 40’s. She greeted me with the usual charm any computer repair guy receives: “I’m glad you could come so quickly. You need to fix these computers before my husband gets home.”

The first computer was in the living room. The computer looked out to the front yard. Hey, this is Florida, you could see the heat rising from the driveway. My set up is always the same: Give the customer papers to fill out. Ask them to get me a cup of coffee. Manually go thru the computer to see which virus was present and where it resides. Yeah, sometimes it is that easy.

She came back in the room with my coffee, and the papers filled out. I said thank you and started to give her the initial assessment. That’s when I noticed her. Not that I didn’t see her before. But here she was 2 feet in front of my face. And her blouse was discretely without buttons buttoned where they should be. That should have been a red flag. But like I said, this is Florida, and it is hot. And, well, computer guys aren’t too quick on this stuff.

As I started the scanning programs, I sipped on the coffee and started to answer the usual questions. “Where did I get a virus?” “Why didn’t my anti-virus program catch it?” “How long does this take?” and my favourite question “Was it something that I did?”

I have a lot of fun with those questions. Sure, I could answer with certainty, if I was to do forensics … pulling out all the temporary files and history. Instead, I usually just say things like “You need to stop clicking everywhere on anything, especially if you don’t know or trust the web site or the email.”

Since the first program I run takes a good 20 minutes, I asked to see the other computers. She took me upstairs to her son’s computer. Turning it on was a shock, even for me. It was loaded with so much porn that I was sure the cops would be at the door that instant. And we aren’t just talking the usual pictures. The virus started up some pretty graphic videos. Dr. Ruth would have been impressed!

The story ends here for the protection of both me and my client.

You are welcome to write your own continuation. 

Jerrold Schiff
http://www.schiffkey.com

nasty, computer, virus, removal, customers, women

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Dirty Computers

Dirty Computers

Protecting your investment

Over ten years in the business, and I can tell you that next to viruses and software failures, the next worse threat to a computer is DUST and DIRT.

Warning: Opening your computer may invalidate the warranty. Only professionals should attempt any procedure that involves electricity. Incorrect work may result in shocks. Hardware may be destroyed by water, air, dust, dirt. The author of this article cannot be held liable for any damages.

WHY IS MY COMPUTER DIRTY?

A computer HEATS up. There are fans to bring in air and cool off the CPU (Chip) and motherboard. Trouble is, the air is not being filtered. Whether you live in Park Place or Mediterranean Avenue, dust circulates.  Human hair, skin and worse Dog or Cats spew stuff in the air every day. It doesn’t matter how clean your house may be. Carpets vs. wood floors just makes it worse! And the home of a smoker? Nuff said.

Now you know WHY and HOW computers get dirty.

Partial instructions on cleaning a computer: FOR A DESKTOP COMPUTER:

Buy a “Gas Duster” product from a reputable store. This product will not have any water (harmful).

Turn off the computer. Unplug everything, especially the power cord. Unplug the Ethernet too.

Depending on the make/model lay the computer on its side, unscrew and remove the side panel.

Take the computer outside. Removing dust inside the house defeats the purpose!

Using the gas gun, safely use short bursts to remove the dust from all sensitive areas.

Allow the computer time to “dry” before reconnecting and before turning it back on.

Repeat every six months.


Jerrold Schiff
http://www.schiffkey.com
407-772-2081

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Web site SEM SEO - Web site hosting - Computer Virus Removal

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Psychotherapist - Phone Life Coaching Counseling

Psychotherapist - Phone Life Coaching Counseling
http://www.phonecoaching-counseling.com
     for contact info go to web site
As a seasoned psychotherapist with more than 30 years' experience working with men, women, teens, families, and couples on the many issues presented to us daily, I have had great success. My clients have achieved great success getting their lives on track to accomplish their goals.
Patricia Lurie, phone counseling, phone coaching, therapy, licensed therapist, Florida, Broward County, Dade County, Jungian, hypnosis, anxiety, depression, psychotherapy, social
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Posted by Jerrold Schiff www.schiffkey.com

Interviews and Resumes

Interviews and Resumes
Contact Number: 1-855-226-0460  or 416-226-0460
http://www.interviewresumes.com
http://www.awardwinningresumes.ca
http://www.resume4me.ca
Karen Shane
Certified Professional Resume Writer, CPRW
Certified Resume Strategist, CRS
Organization: Business Writing and Resumes
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Near north exit of TTC Finch Station,
           across from Finch GO Station. Parking. Appointments: in person.
Services: resumes, cover letters; editing, thank-you letters, reference page. Job searches and resume distribution for managers, executives, and others. Serving (a) trade sectors such as construction, manufacturing, and driving; (b) machine operators, heavy equipment operators, and chefs — among others; (c) industries such as healthcare (including dentistry); finance, administration, HR, marketing, sales, promotions, food & beverage, nursing, IT, engineering, energy conservation, retail, printing, project management, sports, and entertainment.
Background: Company established in 1994. Completed HR classes. Experience writing profiles for entrepreneurs. Worked in health care, media, and small business. Served as marketing and trade show coordinator; medical office administrator and manager, recreational director for seniors, newsletter writer, and freelance writer. Taught children.
Publication: work appears in Best Canadian Resumes and Best Canadian Cover Letters, productions of Sentor Media Inc. Articles appear in newspapers and blogs.
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Certified Prof. Resume Writer (CPRW) and Certified Resume Strategist (CRS)
Unique writing services for Managers and Non-managers in: Healthcare, Finance, Trades, Construction, Administration, HR, Marketing, Sales & Promotions, Manufacturing, Blue Collar, Driving, Machine Operators, Heavy Equipment Operators, Accountants, Payroll, Nursing, and more. Ask your questions now. Call Karen Shane, B.A, dually certified resume writer Monday to Friday at 416-226-0460. Send your existing resume and your goals 24/7
Career Counselling / Career Transition / Interview Training:  416-226-0460.
How can we help you? Are you a Senior Manager or an Executive? We'd love to hear from you so we can connect you with the ideal resume professional.
Call: Karen Shane at Business Writing and Resumes:
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RESUMES:
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When you hire a certified resume writer you may improve your chances to earn $3,000 to $10,000 more in annual income. Don't gamble with your future career. Ask a Certified Professional Resume Writer to craft a customized resume. More people than ever before are turning to certified professionals for a compelling, powerful resume and cover letter.

Your new resume will have the necessary keywords and buzz phrases.

Staff members here have the following credentials: CPRW, CRS, MBA in Human Resources, and are affiliated with several professional resume associations. Some have published resumes featured in books.

Let's get started. Call the office to book an online or in-person appointment. Since 1994 clients have been landing great jobs through us.
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Ever Ask Yourself: What Should I Do Now?

Not sure what to do next in employment? Let me help sort out your future career goals one-on-one in just 1 session. You'll receive 10 interview and job search articles with this order. Professional Fee: $80
Karen Shane, B.A., CPRW, CRS. Professional 

Lake and Luxury Real Estate, Windermere, Florida

Lake and Luxury Real Estate, Windermere, Florida
http://www.lakeandluxuryrealestate.com  for contact info go to web site
Wayne Weger
“I believe that people do business with a sales person that they like, trust and in whom they have confidence.” I have hundreds of satisfied clients, many of whom have used my services multiple times and have given me many referrals. This fact confirms to me
that the way I conduct my real estate business is the right way.” If you are looking for a knowledgeable and professional Realtor who is likable, trustworthy and dependable, then I invite you to contact me.
Lake and Luxury Real Estate is a site designed to acquaint you with the benefits of living in Keene’s Pointe as well as the homes and lots that are currently for sale within the community. The site is also designed to acquaint you with Wayne Weger, a real estate sales person who has worked exclusively in this community for more than eight years.
Keene’s Pointe is a luxury private golf community located near Windermere, Florida, a small affluent town on the outskirts of Orlando. The community consists of more than 1,000 acres of land which are bordered by the Butler Chain of Lakes, Lake Burden and the 400 acre Tibet Butler Preserve. There are currently about 900 completed homes in the community, around 20 more under construction and approximately 80 available home sites. Resale homes in Keene’s Pointe range from about $400,000 to around $4,000,000 and everything in between. Home and lot packages for new homes start around $700,000 and some of the nicest lots are still available.
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Posted by Jerrold Schiff www.schiffkey.com

Last Minute Villas, Florida Villas and Orlando Villas!

Last Minute Villas, Florida Villas and Orlando Villas!
 for contact info go to web site
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For Luxury Florida vacation rental villas on Florida's Gulf Coast there are many areas to choose from Sarasota, Naples, Rotonda, The island town of Fort Myers Beach, Sanibel Island (although on these islands these are more like cottages than villas.)

To book Orlando Florida vacation home rentals for your visit to Disney World or beautiful Orlando, look no further, our Florida Vacation Rental Villas are well situated for the attractions Daytona beach, Kennedy Space Centre in fact wherever you want to be we have villas to suit most needs.

Our Orlando, Kissimmee or Gulf Coast villa owners often offer flights, car rental and of course luxury Florida vacation rentals. Visit Orlando theme parks, and Florida's Gulf Coast. Complete the Florida Rental Form above for owners best Orlando and Gulf Coast villas offers.

Disney vacation package? Orlando villa owners rent their homes to Disney visitors, for the attractions, and of course, Walt Disney World.

Florida vacation rentals are private homes, Florida villa rentals costs less. Snowbirds Vacation villas People with disabilities can enjoy the privacy and convenience that Florida vacation rentals offer. Orlando and Kissimmee vacation home prices are for the complete home.
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Posted by Jerrold Schiff www.schiffkey.com

Let the Legend of the Evil Eye be with you !

Let the Legend of the Evil Eye be with you !
http://evileyemall.com
The Evil Eye is also referred to as the All-Seeing Eye, the Lucky Eye, Nazar Boncuk and Mati.
According to an Ancient Turkish and Greek belief, an envious look cast upon you can bring bad luck.
A tradition that defines evil always provides a charm for protection.
Hold that charm in your hand right now!
We believe the eye looks out for us, protects us from envy, negativity, and brings good luck.
When the Evil Eye bead appears in other colors besides blue, it is usually for fashion reasons.
Beads in alternative colors have every bit as much power as the traditional blue ones.
People from different regions have embraced the Evil Eye, thus bringing us all together as one.
This means the Evil Eye is more than just a superstitious myth. It is a reminder that we are all one people.
Please visit our web site for more information:
http://evileyemall.com
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Posted by Jerrold Schiff www.schiffkey.com

Solar Water Fountains Etc.

Solar Water Fountains Etc.
http://www.solarfountainsetc.com
Solar Water Fountains Etc.
We offer a fine selection of merchandise for your home and garden.
Here you will find Solar Water Fountains, Garden Water Fountains, large outdoor water fountains and smaller indoor water fountains. You will also find Ceramic Planters, Solar Garden Decor and Wind Chimes.
Nothing quite says relax like the sound of moving water. Our collection of solar garden water fountains provide the delightful trickling water sound combined with visual appeal. In addition, our charming outdoor water fountains complement our indoor water fountains. Water fountains are a pleasant way to introduce your own decorating style combined with the soothing sound of flowing water into any aspect of your life.

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Posted by Jerrold Schiff www.schiffkey.com

Brown Law, P.L.

Brown Law, P.L.
407-344-3400
http://www.brownlawpl.com
We want to be the law firm for “You, Your Family, and Your Business.” To that end we work in multiple areas of the law: Family Law, Immigration, Personal Injury and Business Law.
Family Law encompasses divorce, child support and child support modification, alimony, and RELOCATION issues with regard to children.
With the changes in Immigration law it is more important than ever that you hire an attorney that knows how to navigate the new policies. Our firm also works on helping you on the path to citizenship, petitions for alien relatives, appeals and INVESTOR VISAS. Don’t get deported!
In a Personal Injury claim, insurance companies are not your friends. To them all things are a business decision and they are going to keep as much money in their pockets as they can. You need to hire a law firm who knows how to negotiate with your best interest in mind.
If you have been injured in an accident, first see a medical doctor and then call Brown Law, P.L. 407-344-3400.
The main attorney in our firm has been a small business owner all of his adult life. In fact, this is what led him into law school. He found himself always negotiating contracts and looking for what loopholes there may be within those contracts. To that end, his desire is to keep small business owners protected instead of open to liability. Brown Law, P.L. can set up your LLC, write and negotiate vendor, employee, and client contracts and review any contracts already in place.
family, law, divorce, child, support, Kissimmee, florida
Posted by Jerrold Schiff www.schiffkey.com